1. Brand New sucks deez nuts. Making them look like brand New nuts
2. Here's to KC not crashing. Here's also to KC's douche-vertible
3. TORTILLA CHIPS!
4. Dinner verbal collabos... Yep, not good at those.
5. Dan Marino, bro?
6. I feel like a million dollars at this party
7. I've decided that The Substitute is my 8th favorite movie ever.
8. KC's relatives are geniuses! As the prop turns? BRILLIANT WORDPLAY.
9. Xzibit is good.
10. GZA: Wu-Tang Clan member least likely to murder you.
11. The Starbucks logo: a princess wrestling anime rape tentacles or a mermaid whose tail has been split?
12. Fuddruckers has a veggie burger! And you can chose all the toppings you want! I created a burger mountain! You've done it again, food!
13. Spiky redheaded teen at In-n-Out: we all wanna hit him.
14. Cheated death taking photos at what was most likely an underground gov't installation in the Arizona desert. Thanks, Invisibles.
15. My omelette had its own parking structure. As Djello put it, "I think I saw that in Starship Troopers."
16. Realization: John Stockton was Karl Malone's personal ball-wrangler.
17. i'm about ready to straight death kill Djeljosevic.
18. It's not so much the pain, as much as it that I can't feel anything. Btw, I drool blood while I sleep. LULZ!
19. My gay assistant manager just told me his vagina hurt; I can't wait to see the Dark Knight.
20. I have to go out and buy a belt. I just realized that I don't own any belts & probably havent since I was 11...
